On an island in the middle of a lake off the coast of Ireland is a pilgrimage site called St. Patrick’s Purgatory. Catholics journey to this entrance to purgatory where the do not eat, sleep or wear shoes as they search for a deeper meaning and connection to God.
Running with this idea of enlightenment through suffering partially prompted Shirley Christie to embark on a 3,000 mile bike ride against 90 mph headwinds, limited funds, a lot of isolation and harsh environments. Christie had just arrived in Pasadena the day before, ending her trek across the United States on bicycle that started in Boston only three months ago.
Aside from using the trip as a means of therapy to overcome the remnants of shame from her past, the ride was also a vehicle to raise awareness in the general public over the amount of domestic violence in America.
“I’ve been thinking about this for 20 years, at least. I went as part of my healing. My work with domestic violence organizations has been a part of my healing,” Christie said.
During numerous points along the way, Shirley felt like giving up and turning around, but every time she did she thought back on what her daughter told her through a text message conversation they had when she was in Chicago.
“She said to me, ‘Whatever you do, you’ve already made us very proud mom.’ But she said to me, ‘I know that if you do, turn around, that you’ll be very angry with yourself,’” Christie said.
She smiled, with a hand over her heart, and remarked that was what kept her going.
“I want people to learn to be nice to one another. I believe that there are good people out there,” she said.
Christie began her education in anthropology at PCC many years ago and now plans to attain a Ph.D in the same field.
“If I can do this [ride] then I can do anything,” said Christie.
Christie is only one of the thousands of abuse and domestic violence victims in the U.S. today. Her father sexually abused her when she was 9-years-old and the abuse continued until she was 18. She made attempts to get away from him before but to no avail.
“I was 18. He wouldn’t allow me to leave the house,” she said. “I tried to leave one time and he dragged me back and threw me against the front porch. I still have a scar on my upper lip from that.”
Finally, Christie’s younger sister had her boyfriend call the police and her father was arrested. Being the eldest of her siblings, it was up to her to decide what should become of her father after he was released from prison.
“He was in jail for three days,” she said. “Since I was 18 and I was the only one who was raped, I was the one who was to make the decision of whether he would stay with the family or not, and I felt a great deal of pressure because my mother didn’t work. Who was going to pay the bills? My father was very good about paying bills.”
As if the sexual abuse wasn’t enough, the threat of violence always hung over her head as well.
“He kept a pistol under the mattress under his pillow,” she said. “We all knew it was there.”
Shirley noted that the thought of using the gun against her father in self-defense may have crossed her mind but that she could absolutely never follow through with it. Instead, the weapon became a tool for inflicting emotional injury.
“He held the gun to his head, and he was blaming me for his going to jail,” Christie said. “It wasn’t me who did these things, you know? It was he who did them to me. So, he made me feel guilty, and like I was a bad person.”
Christie’s father died on Memorial Day in 1985 from a heart attack and Christie regrets never getting the chance to confront him.
The idea of making a pilgrimage by bicycle across the United States first stirred in Christie’s thoughts over 20 years ago as she worked with quite a few domestic violence organizations. Christie was told repeatedly throughout school that she was not only ugly but stupid as well, which led her to discover that self-esteem is a huge obstacle for most abuse victims.
As one of the final steps in Christie’s journey to healing, she decided to embark on a trek that would pit her against odds that would make most turn around. Extremely steep trails with no shade in 100-degree weather and no place of refuge for miles is only one example of the difficulties she faced.
Moving forward, as all things do, Christie is able to smile now. Noting that it feels as though a weight has finally been lifted, Christie believes the trip succeeded in being the final step to overcoming her shame and anger and the future looks bright. She even hinted that a book may be in the works.
“It’s over,” she said, her expression lighting up.
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That’s not a very good headline. It makes it sound like SHE should be ashamed of something. The abusers should be the ones ashamed, not the victims.
Thank you for your input. It was in fact not my intention to say that Shirley should be ashamed in any way, shape or form. I have changed the headline.
Kudos to Shirley for her bravery and accomplishments…this is a great story about an inspiring woman. I’m a little taken aback by that headline, though…it sounds as if the writer is condemning her for her actions. When I read the article, it seems this may have been unintentional – perhaps you should consider deleting the word “shameful”.
Shirley did nothing wrong and has nothing to be ashamed about – rather, she overcame and made the best of a really difficult situation, and that’s something to applaud!
Thank you for your input. You are correct, it was unintentional. It was in fact not my intention to say that Shirley should be ashamed in any way, shape or form. I have changed the headline.
Thank you for changing the headline.