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Cancer is a frightening affliction that can become a struggle between life and death. When malignant, it can become a fatal illness that constantly reoccurs, leaving a shadow of worry in one’s mind that it might be gone today, but there again tomorrow.

Abby Delman has been a psychology teacher at PCC since spring 2001, and has run the gantlet of life, from holding multiple jobs and taking care of her child to overcoming severe chronic depression and breast cancer.

“Depression is something I suffered from my earliest memory, going back to about when I was four years old,” she said. “They didn’t know about depression much back then, and I grew up being asked ‘what’s wrong’ and told to ‘lighten up, Abby.'”

It wasn’t until Delman was an adult that she found out that she suffered from depression, and did a lot of talk therapy. Therapy did not help, she said, because her depression was caused by chemicals rather than problems in life. That was when she was prescribed medication.

Twenty years later from that day, she is still taking Zoloft on a minimum dose. Without it, she would not be able to function well, she said.

Once the problem of depression was resolved, all was well until December 2009. Delman had discovered a lump in her breast.

Concerned about what it implicated, she rushed to get it checked, but her doctors did not find anything and told her to come back in two months.

During this time, Delman felt the lump growing larger.

She went back before the two months, demanding the radiologist to do another ultrasound. After the check-up, the radiologist did find a small mass, but did not think much of it. She also disagreed with Delman’s request for a biopsy. The radiologist then told Delman to come back in another six months.

When Delman finally got the approval for a biopsy to move forward despite the radiologist’s vehement disagreement, the mass had grown larger than when Delman had first felt it, but the prognosis said it was insofar benign.

“People need to know that you can’t just give your health over to your healthcare provider. The HMO system looks at money, so you have to push for care for yourself,” she said. “If I had not pushed, I don’t know where I would’ve been right now—perhaps facing my own mortality.”

Even though her prognosis turned out good, Delman said “because of that radiologist, I got cancer at Stage 2 instead of 1. Those weeks I had to wait allowed it to grow.”

In the summer of 2010, Delman underwent a mastectomy followed by chemotherapy.

“I opted for my left breast to be removed [because] it would give me more assurance, as well as the reconstruction to be with my stomach tissue,” she said. “It took me a full summer to be able to walk upright and comfortable. I was on my back for about two months. It was a very tough surgery.”

As soon as her incisions healed, Delman received chemotherapy. “I went blind at different periods during chemotherapy for half hour intervals. It happened about four times,” she said. “I also lost all my hair, though losing hair on my legs was good.”

For the past two years, she has gone through many more surgeries, all minor, and does not regret anything she has done.

“Even if, say, the medication I take for depression increases the risk of cancer, it wouldn’t have changed my decision to take it,” Delman said. “My feeling is to take advantage of everything science and medicine has to offer; I believe in it. You have to make the best choices you can with what you have.”

Delman makes it no secret about the ordeals she had gone through in life, and it seems that relating her experiences does not go unappreciated by her students.

Maria Murillo, a 21 year old student from Delman’s introductory psychology course, more than appreciates Delman’s openness.

“I feel really good about her class. She makes it fun, not like other teachers. I just had to take this class, but she makes it so much fun,” Murillo said. “She shares with us her problems with breast cancer. It makes me feel better because my dad passed away [from cancer] last week, and it’s like I’m not the only one.” Her birthday was in the same week of her father’s death.  

For Delman, because of her personal battle with cancer, she has much sympathy and sadness for anyone who has been affected by cancer in some way. “It hits close to home because my students have been affected,” she said, her voice breaking and eyes tearing up. “For me, I was the lucky one; I got diagnosed, found the lump and had to fight for healthcare.”

Jonathan Hyun, 20, and psychology major, said, “A girl in our class confessed about an eating disorder. She felt comfortable enough to talk about it after Delman talked about her issues.” Even though Delman is open, she doesn’t spend a lot of time on it to the point where it takes up class time, he said, so it becomes a lesson related in an easy manner.  

“I understood very clearly what was important in life: my family, teaching, colleagues and the students. Every day became much more beautiful,” Delman said. “But the reality is that we all die in the end, so we do the best we can.”

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