PCC held its annual time waster of an earthquake drill Thursday as it participated in the statewide “Shake Out” drill.
From the moment Siri’s long lost cousin announced inaudibly over the loudspeakers to evacuate the classrooms, this drill quickly escalated into one hot mess.
No one seemed to know where they were going or why.
It was just hordes of faculty and students alike wandering aimlessly around campus.
My favorite sighting among these misguided masses was the students sneaking off to Chik-Fil-A during the drill.
This time-sucker was also scheduled during the worst possible time, midterms.
I know a real earthquake wouldn’t care if it was the week of midterms or not but I also know if there were a real earthquake, PCC is not prepared whatsoever.
Like a “Where’s Waldo” puzzle, I searched high and low for a teacher taking roll or a faculty member doing a headcount. Instead, I found a few students catching Pokemon, two students smoking some weed and PCC’s Superintendent-President Rajen Vurdien texting.
The enthusiasm matched that of the Super Bowl party I was at when LMFAO made an appearance during Madonna’s halftime show— Non-existent.
After about 30 minutes of everyone standing around waiting for instruction or guidance of any kind, Siri’s pervert cousin came back on the loudspeakers to inform everyone the coast was clear and to return to class.
In honor of everyone’s time being wasted, here are a few other examples of time being wasted.
- The 1 hour and 31 minutes it takes to watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
- Shaquille O’Neal whenever he’s not re-enacting “Kazzam.”
- Any MLB telecast. (Yeah I said it.)
- Chipotle employees when they think that guacamole being extra is going to stop it from entering me.
- My bartender when she asks me if I’m sure I want another Vegas Bomb. (Try one. Thank me later.)
- Any commercial that doesn’t feature Toomgis.
- Vice President Mike Pence attending a Colts game.
- Noah Cyrus’ music “career.”
- At least half of the year 2010, when we were all watering each other’s crops on FarmVille.
- Literally all of the time the villains in “Scooby Doo” tried to get away with it.