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Heartbreak “expert”, The Weeknd, put out his new EP titled “My Dear Melancholy” on March 30th of this year, and as expected, bear-minimum twitter went crazy. Fans went crazy over the lyrics and melodies on the 6-song record that had influence from major producing stars like Skrillex, Mike Will Made It and half of Daft Punk.

I guess the EP is about the Weekend’s former lady Selena Gomez, who was continuing her treck of attempting to date every pop singer with a suspiciously high voice. Is it weird that in 2018 there is love songs being written about the girl from Wizards of Waverly Place? Yeah, it’s kinda weird.

But if there’s a silver lining it’s that I didn’t immediately hate the EP.

The first track is titled ‘Call Out My Name,’ and it’s not that bad of a song. Apparently the line where he says “I almost cut a piece of myself for your life” is referring to the Weeknd almost donating Selena Gomez a kidney, or something romantic like that. If it’s true, that’s pretty cold (The good kind of cold. Like Damian Lillard 4th quarter cold).

Shoddy producing taints the rest of the album, and everything immediately becomes unoriginal, from the backing tracks to the lyrics.

‘Call out my name’ is just a recycled beat from the Weeknd’s 2015 hit ‘Worth It’. The two songs are essentially the same thing. The cadence and word flow of ‘Hurt You’ is literally an exact copy from his song ‘Pray for Me’ from the Black Panther album.

The rest of the tracks are all forgettable songs with general lyrics. “I don’t want to hurt you” is repeating 15 times without a break, and “I don’t want to wake up” followed by “I ain’t got no business catchin’ feelings” also gets repeated for the entire second half of the song, ‘Wasted Times’.

I get that romance affects some people’s minds more than others. But hey Mr. Weeknd, FOR SURE write at least one song about something else. You’re rich. Can’t you write a song about the line at Nobu, or like how your Uber chopper being late makes you mad?

But also, make up your mind bro. You make the point to say you’re not trying to catch feelings, but then you still write a whole EP on Selena Gomez. It’s just a girl, not an important choice like what grade of cocaine you’re gonna sniff tonight.

The lyrics also get questionable at one point. In ‘Hurt You,’ when the Weeknd is reaching a frustration level with his love for Selena, he pops in this little nugget of a lyric: “But if you call me up, I’m f******* you on sight.”

I’m pretty sure that’s rape, my guy. Did #MeToo not teach this guy anything? Oh I forgot, he’s good-looking, so it doesn’t count.

He also does that purposely annoying high voice thing that Kendrick Lamar does on some songs. The two have worked together in the past, so the influence is direct. The difference between the two is that Kendrick is a top 5 all time lyricist, and the Weeknd is a forgettable R&B singer that will be out of everyone’s mind once he turns 35.

The Weeknd EP brought out what’s wrong with the pop community right now. Because lyricism is at an all time low, average lines from the Weeknd’s songs seem so profound. I mean, when you compare the Weeknd’s lyrics, they don’t seem that bad next to “I’m Luke Skywalking on these haters.” That HAS to be the worst line in Hip-Hop history. Sidenote: If we get nuked by North Korea, I’m blaming that lyric. Kim Jong be sitting like “yo I could deal with President Agent Orange, but that song is where I draw the line, dog. I’ll just show the UN that song and they’ll understand.”

But just because other artists are being lazy doesn’t mean you sink to their level. Honestly, it’s on the Weeknd’s producers to fix this on the next project he does. He does have a good voice, but the big names that worked on “My Dear Melancholy” failed in creating something original.

Grade: C+

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